It all began when I woke up. I realized I was having trouble breathing, and my body felt incredibly heavy. Something felt off, but despite not feeling right, I decided to go to work that day.
Once at the office, I quickly noticed I was stressed for no apparent reason. It felt like I couldn’t think clearly or sit still at my desk. I stepped outside for some fresh air and suddenly felt dizzy, with my heartbeat seemingly stopping for a moment. That’s when panic set in. I asked a colleague to rush me to the hospital, only to find out later that there was nothing physically wrong with me.
Weeks and months passed, and I continued with multiple hospital checks due to strange symptoms I’d never experienced before. Doctors examined my bloodwork, heart, lungs, and brain, but everything seemed fine. Deep down, I suspected it was stress-related, but I couldn’t pinpoint it. I had no apparent issues at home or work.
During this time, I became obsessed with my symptoms and health. I tried everything I found on Google or YouTube, from acupuncture to Japanese massages, meditation, breath exercises, and neurofeedback, but things only seemed to worsen.
I sought therapy as panic attacks increased, but it focused only on specific symptoms like hyperventilating and not on others like muscle twitching, intrusive thoughts, overthinking, and back pain. My daily Google searches for a cause led me to a book called “Hope and Help for Your Nerves” by Dr. Claire Weekes. This discovery brought genuine hope.
The book explained the concept of “2nd fear,” where fear of feeling fear creates an anxious loop overwhelming the nervous system. Dr. Claire Weekes recommended a solution: accepting thoughts and feelings, continuing with normal life without resistance. This concept, described as “utter acceptance” or “floating,” gave me hope and strength.
In the following weeks and months, I practiced this mindset, but I needed more examples of its application in daily situations. That’s when I found a YouTube channel called Wonderbro, now known as VacateFear. The channel simplified Dr. Claire Weekes’ method for the modern generation, providing the information I needed to teach myself the crucial mindset for recovery.
While information was essential, putting in the work for recovery was crucial to teach my brain there was no real danger with my physical symptoms. The recovery journey was long, filled with ups and downs, not linear, lasting around 2/3 years until I fully recovered. But as symptoms lessened, I began to enjoy life more, gaining confidence and aiding my recovery in an upward spiral.
This is a brief intro to my anxiety recovery. In upcoming posts, I’ll delve into the acceptance method I used and provide practical examples of handling intrusive thoughts or unpleasant sensations.
keywords: ocd recovery blog, anxiety recovery blog en mental health recovery blog
