How to let go of controlling fear especially when you’re feeling the worst you can feel.
Who wants to feel anxious? Nobody, right?
Of course, it’s normal to try to control it, avoid it, or suppress it. And most of the time, it provides some short-term relief, very short-term.
But what really happens? You just tell your brain that the feeling of anxiety is “scary” and “dangerous.”And what does your body do when it experiences something “scary” or “dangerous”?
You tense up, stress hormones kick in, and you experience even more anxiety.And the loop starts again… You are caught up in anxiety again.
So, how do you unlearn this pattern and regain control of your life?
Simple (but not easy): accept the fear symptoms (the thoughts, the feelings, and the sensations).
But you can’t just “try” this while anxiously checking if the symptoms are decreasing. Beause you will not notice the difference, they will come back and you’re back to square one.You have to have faith, trust and patience with this.
This is very difficult because you want to be sure you are doing the right thing and everything in you tells you that you just accepted or ignored something very important that you should have fought or suppress or avoid.
You have to do the opposite of what you have done all the time, you have to unlearn the pattern that made you sick and brought you in this condition. Accepting is not just accepting thoughts and feelings but still doing compulsions like checking if symptoms are starting to fade. Accepting means accepting everything that happens in your mind and body and not doing anything about it except moving on with your day. This means moving through the fear instead of away or around it, as Dr Claire Weekes desribes as ” floating“.
That means having an attitude that says, “Forget it, I’m done with this crap.””I’m done with these obsessions, and I am taking my life back, right now!” And you have to start doing the work.
Instead of anxiously trying to control the thoughts and feelings that are coming in, you invite them in with total acceptance.This takes a lot of courage, but this is where the recovery is (on the other side of the fear).You welcome them; you don’t agree with the thoughts and feelings. You simply invite them in, accept them by only observing them, and that’s it. Then, you go on with your day.
This is very difficult in the beginning because the thoughts will keep popping up until they convince you that your “acceptance” solution is not working.This is how anxiety works.
But don’t fall into the trap! Keep persisting!
Keep accepting the thoughts by only observing and not responding to them. Do not fight back, suppress them, or deny the stories they tell you.Don’t get caught up with the content; notice that it’s all anxiety and exhausted nerves and go on with your life (in the beginning, you will have to do this 24/7).
Anxiety will try to convince you to respond, and it’s your job to practice not doing it.
Example : You have anxious and intrusive thoughts about some weird sensations in your chest area.
What do you do?
Accept the thoughts that say, “What if this will lead to a heart attack?”
Don’t respond to the content. Just observe the thought and go back to what you are doing.
In the beginning can tell yourself ” whatever, its just anxiety”.
Another thought will pop back up again, “How can you ignore me? What if I really die now?”
Do the same; observe it, accept it, and go on with your day.
Probably a 3rd or 4rd thought (and more) will also pop up to convince you to respond. But this will be less when you practice more. This is normal, don’t let it bother you.
Don’t talk back, don’t argue with the thought, and don’t fight with it.
You will have to practice this countless times, but it gets easier every time.
And in the beginning where will be probably times when you do fall for the trap, and you respond and you are back in the rabbit hole of arguing with your thoughts and feelings and sensitizing your nerves again. This is just part of the recovery journey. We are human, not perfect robots.
Dpn’t let setbacks define you, use them as stepping stones to practice again with extra motivation to do it right.
You can only teach your brain there is no real threat by your actions and behavior, not by responding with your thoughts about it. Your actions and behaviour should be like you are already recovered.
Yes this is hard to do when you feel like crap, but you will have to fake it until you make it.
This is the way to stop the anxious loop and recover again.
